RFC for FSFE Edu-Team mission statement

[Nicolas JEAN]

Hi Guido,
Already a very nice job!!
Here under are some comments.


On 01/02/2011 23:15, Guido Arnold wrote:
> Hello all,
>
> Although the Edu-Team has been active again, there was no consistent
> answer to the question what exactly we are aiming for and how we plan
> to get there. So, we started working on our mission statement and came
> up with a first draft. 
>
> You are warmly invited to provide us with any kind of input for
> improvements!
>
> --------------------
> FSFE Edu-Team Mission Statement:
>
> With the increasing usage of Information technology, software
> knowledgeability [1] has become a key skill in modern society. At almost
> all levels [2], pupils and students are taught how to use computers and
> deal with software.
>
> We believe [3] Free Software is the best choice

the best choice for whom, for what?

> as it encourages schooling
> of understanding over product schooling, upholds the scientific
> principles and doesn't neglect the social components of education like
> sharing, helping and learning from each other [4].
>
> The aim of the education activity of FSFE is furthering

[native speaker needed] "the furthering"? "to further"?

>  Free Software
> in all education related activities and institutions. In accordance
> with FSFE's self conception [0], we want to bring Free Software in
> education on the political agenda across all European country
> borders and inform administrations, teachers, students/pupils and
> their parents about the benefits Free Software provides. We also want
> to foster communication and cooperation among these groups as well as
> with the developers and advocates of Free Software and their
> organisations to help them succeed. We aim for a legal framework that
> will not discriminate the use of Free Software and offer our expertise
> and advise to all parties involved.
>
> [0] http://fsfe.org/about/principles.en.html
> --------------------
>
> The footnotes point to some controversies during the drafting process.
>
> Any comment or question is welcome! There is also an editable etherpad
> version where you can integrate your suggestions right away and
> anonymous [5].
>
> Thank you for your time and help!
>
> Greetings,
>
> Guido
>
>
> [1] knowledgeability sounds weird to some people. Is there any better
>     way to express this?

Simple "knowledge"? "Education"? "know-how"? "Expertise"?

> [2] It's been suggested to replace "levels" with "educational institutions"

Other proposal: "Throughout the many years in school [at all levels], …"
> [3] delete "We believe"?
>
> [4] does this explain the WHY good enough? Any other suggestions?
>
> [5] http://edu.etherpad.fsfe.org/5

-- 
Nicolas JEAN - Intern
Free Software Foundation Europe (http://fsfe.org)
Is Free Software important to you? Join us! (http://fsfe.org/join)


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