English version of the tool leaflet to comment on
Heiki "Repentinus" Ojasild
repentinus at fsfe.org
Fri Nov 1 12:47:21 UTC 2013
On 01/11/13 11:04, Jann Eike Kruse wrote:
> "[...] Free Software is not about price, but liberty."
> I suggest:
> "[...] Free Software is not about price, it's about liberty."
> "[...] Free Software is not about cost, it's about your freedom."
The original sentence is perfectly fine. Furthermore, comma splices are
ungrammatical in English.
> "Whoever controls the software therefore controls you."
> I suggest:
> "So whoever controls the software also controls you."
No preference here.
> "Sometimes it 'only' does not do exactly what you expected,
> but there are also programs and apps that contain malicious
> 'features' like leaking your data without your knowledge."
> I suggest:
> "Some programs and apps might not do exactly what you expect.
> Others may contain malicious 'features' and abuse your
> data or your device for their own purpose behind your back."
I am not sure that the proposed replacement is good enough; however,
neither is the original. My proposal:
"The shortcomings of non-free software are sometimes limited to failing
to meet your expectations; however, more often than not non-free
software also leaks your data or hides other malicious 'features'."
> Maybe use italics instead of '....' quotes?
+1
--
Heiki "Repentinus" Ojasild
FSFE Fellowship Representative
mailto:repentinus at fsfe.org
xmpp:repentinus at jabber.fsfe.org
http://blogs.fsfe.org/repentinus/
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