English version of the tool leaflet to comment on

[Jann Eike Kruse]

On 31/10/13 17:20, Lucile Falgueyrac wrote:
> Hi everyone,
> 
> The new English version of the tool leaflet is almost done. It is quite
> different from the original German one.
> 
> --> the language needs to be proofread
> --> the text (actual content) needs to be checked
> 
> Ideas / critics / remarks welcome!
> Since I sent the source file to designers@, I'm just attaching the pdf
> here to have less conflicts. Just tell me if you need them.
> 
> I sent the following points to designers@, but your are also welcome to
> comment on it:
> 
> --> colours are slightly different
> --> I couldn't arrange the text nicely -> word breaks are very bad and
> non consistent, as is justification. The little boxes look terrible if
> justified, the big texts look messy if not justified
> --> the third box of the third inside panel is special, if know how to
> make it look better please tell me
> 
> Any other advice? Feedback?
> 
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> Best,
> Lucile
> 

Nice work!

I fully agree with the message of the leaflet.

Well, I already know what is really behind the points 1 to 8. But I
suggest to ask also for feedback from people (friends/family) who know
very little about Software Freedom and especially from people who use
and like fancy proprietary software. Since those people are the target
group of this leaflet, it is important that they (at least some of them)
get the message and not find it totally silly or irrelevant or
far-fetched or whatever... I hope they don't.

Some small suggestions within the text:

  "[...] Free Software is not about price, but liberty."
I suggest:
  "[...] Free Software is not about price, it's about liberty."
  "[...] Free Software is not about cost, it's about your freedom."

  "Whoever controls the software therefore controls you."
I suggest:
  "So whoever controls the software also controls you."

  "Sometimes it 'only' does not do exactly what you expected,
   but there are also programs and apps that contain malicious
  'features' like leaking your data without your knowledge."
I suggest:
  "Some programs and apps might not do exactly what you expect.
   Others may contain malicious 'features' and abuse your
   data or your device for their own purpose behind your back."
Maybe use italics instead of '....' quotes?

  "you will benefit from the knowledge and expertise of
   vibrant communities ." <- There's an extra space before the dot.


Keep it up!

Cheers,
Jann