Dear all,
we are producing an emailselfdefense-flyer. The original version [1] was made by the FSF and published under CC-license. So we make a remix, a FSFE version that uses our design and does promotion for us.
Target group: All those people that do not know about GnuPG and maybe even not about Free Software. So, the content is very basic and it should self-motivate people to get more information instead of having all information inside.
First use: Freedom not Fear demonstration on August 30, a very big demonstration agains mass surveillance here in Germany. Therefore, To have the flyer done and ready for the demonstration, I will order them next week.
Therefore, I would like to share my final draft version with you. You can download the PNG files for now from the SVN, here: http://fsfe.org/about/albers/emailselfdefense/emailselfdefense.front.de.png http://fsfe.org/about/albers/emailselfdefense/emailselfdefense.inside.de.png (just temporarily and deleted next week)
I would like to ask you for your feedback about
TEXT: Every German speaker is encouraged to proofread the text, give feedback or improve it. For easy collaboration, I made an etherpad about the text: https://public.pad.fsfe.org/p/emailselfdefense-flyertext Please proofread or give comments. I wrote half a page myself and I have rewritten parts of the FSF
DESIGN: please share your thoughts about the design, the colors, the pictures that have been used. Please do not care about detail by now (like "the background of page 1 and 4 do not fit correctly"). I will take care of that. But I first would like to fix the text. And when the text will be changed, their surrounding boxes also will be changed, than maybe the background ... That means that all design-details will be fixed as the last step of the whole process. So, please, by know, concerning design just let me know how you like it in general, the colours and the symbols etc.
thanks for your contributions, Erik
[1] https://emailselfdefense.fsf.org/en/emailselfdefense_source.zip
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Hi Erik,
Your draft looks appealing. I'm looking forward for a printed version. A few remarks:
please make sure "E-Mail" is not hyphenated. A lonely "E-" at the end of a line looks awkward.
There are – like this – a few sentences with insertions. Make sure the en-dash is connected to the insertion and does not stand alone in the next or previous line. Like in page 4 (outside left): … vier Freiheiten – benutzen, studieren, teilen und verbessern – beruht.
Also justifcation tends to look ugly. Please make sure the hyphenation works. Else it produces ugly huge spaces between words in short lines.
There is a huge difference in the underlines of "Öffentlicher Schlüssel" and "Privater Schlüssel" at page 2 (inside left).
I suspect you're going to fix the rounded corners of the boxes?
On page 3 (inside right) the width of the three columns are different. Might be better when they are equally wide.
Regards,
Phil
On 22/07/14 19:23, Philipp Kammerer wrote:
Hi Erik,
Your draft looks appealing. I'm looking forward for a printed version. A few remarks:
please make sure "E-Mail" is not hyphenated. A lonely "E-" at the end of a line looks awkward.
There are – like this – a few sentences with insertions. Make sure the en-dash is connected to the insertion and does not stand alone in the next or previous line. Like in page 4 (outside left): … vier Freiheiten – benutzen, studieren, teilen und verbessern – beruht.
Also justifcation tends to look ugly. Please make sure the hyphenation works. Else it produces ugly huge spaces between words in short lines.
Yes, this will all be fixed when the proofread is done / the text approved in its final version. There is no hyphenation in inkscape, everything manually. So setting the words and letters is therefore a final step .
There is a huge difference in the underlines of "Öffentlicher Schlüssel" and "Privater Schlüssel" at page 2 (inside left).
yes, I think this should highlight differences between private and public key
I suspect you're going to fix the rounded corners of the boxes?
yes
On page 3 (inside right) the width of the three columns are different. Might be better when they are equally wide.
yes, will do so. This is also because I am waiting for the final words to use.
Best, Erik
↪ 2014-07-23 Wed 11:00, Erik Albers eal@fsfe.org:
Yes, this will all be fixed when the proofread is done / the text approved in its final version. There is no hyphenation in inkscape, everything manually. So setting the words and letters is therefore a final step .
There's no hyphenation in inkscape?! Are we using the right tool for the job?
I know we're probably not going to be able to use LaTeX but can't we find something with a higher quality output?
Maybe somebody on this list knows better and can show us how it’s done.
On 23.07.2014 11:14, Hugo Roy wrote:
↪ 2014-07-23 Wed 11:00, Erik Albers eal@fsfe.org:
Yes, this will all be fixed when the proofread is done / the text approved in its final version. There is no hyphenation in inkscape, everything manually. So setting the words and letters is therefore a final step .
There's no hyphenation in inkscape?! Are we using the right tool for the job?
I know we're probably not going to be able to use LaTeX but can't we find something with a higher quality output?
Maybe somebody on this list knows better and can show us how it’s done.
Imo Eric made a good choice with Inkscape. The alternative would be using Scribus, but it comes with other drawbacks that are far more tedious.
On 22.07.2014 18:37, Erik Albers wrote:
I would like to ask you for your feedback about
TEXT: Every German speaker is encouraged to proofread the text, give feedback or improve it. For easy collaboration, I made an etherpad about the text: https://public.pad.fsfe.org/p/emailselfdefense-flyertext Please proofread or give comments. I wrote half a page myself and I have rewritten parts of the FSF
I have noted a few things (behind the ###) and corrected some minor issues ("Du" vs. "du").
* All in all I think there is way too much text on those pages. You tackle Free Software + background, FSFE + promotion, the EmailSelfDefense campaign, how Encryption and Free Software go hand in hand, promote the GnuPG software - *AND* you explain public key encryption all on the same flyer! My suggestion are: _Remove what you don't absolutely need and shorten the texts to mere links to the respective websites that can do the _actual_ explaining. _don't scatter the GPG explanation over different pages
* There is to few information to explain the complete logic behind GPG, but it is also too much for "just the basics". My suggestion: _explain more general and just keep linking to the campagin
* The huge illustrations need more context, especially if they are on different pages. My suggestion: label them something like "The bad current situation" & "What we can do about it"
DESIGN: please share your thoughts about the design, the colors, the pictures that have been used. Please do not care about detail by now (like "the background of page 1 and 4 do not fit correctly"). I will take care of that. But I first would like to fix the text. And when the text will be changed, their surrounding boxes also will be changed, than maybe the background ... That means that all design-details will be fixed as the last step of the whole process. So, please, by know, concerning design just let me know how you like it in general, the colours and the symbols etc.
My impression is that the also looks would benefit from less text, but mainly from harmonising style elements: just keep using the exact same colors and fontsizes/fontstyles and feeling as the original material.
I completely agree with Robert:
There is way to much content and not enough empty space to comfortably read. As well I would use much less different font sizes and styles. Especially I would get rid of small narrow fonts. Everything should fit in a clear scheme present on all pages of the leaflet.
It will be great to have such a flyer in the future. :)
Best Franz
On Wed, 2014-07-23 at 10:57 +0200, Robert Martinez wrote:
All in all I think there is way too much text on those pages. You tackle Free Software + background, FSFE + promotion, the EmailSelfDefense campaign, how Encryption and Free Software go hand in hand, promote the GnuPG software - *AND* you explain public key encryption all on the same flyer! My suggestion are: _Remove what you don't absolutely need and shorten the texts to mere links to the respective websites that can do the _actual_ explaining. _don't scatter the GPG explanation over different pages
There is to few information to explain the complete logic behind GPG, but it is also too much for "just the basics". My suggestion: _explain more general and just keep linking to the campagin
The huge illustrations need more context, especially if they are on different pages. My suggestion: label them something like "The bad current situation" & "What we can do about it"
My impression is that the also looks would benefit from less text, but mainly from harmonising style elements: just keep using the exact same colors and fontsizes/fontstyles and feeling as the original material.
Dear all,
Thank you for all your feedback. I just made the new version including all your comments and proofreading.
substantial changes from last time: - using formal "Sie" instead of "Du" - colors changed into a final draft - using a different blade for the private key than for the public - all the small things
This version now can be seen as a pre-print draft. That means now it is time to also give feedback about the final design.
I uploaded the flyers here: http://fsfe.org/about/albers/emailselfdefense/emailselfdefense2.front.de.png http://fsfe.org/about/albers/emailselfdefense/emailselfdefense2.inside.de.pn...
Thanks and best, Erik
sorry for my shitty english, the wall of text and please don't be pissed.
sorry to bring back the discussion about inkscape, but as far as i know (i've just tested with inkscape 0.48) there is no support for cmyk colors in inkscape (you can input colors via "cmyk" but the color is saved as a html rgb value). the printed result may be washed out, because it's not possible to print all the colors that can be defined by rgb. also it's quite unprofessional to publish a flyer in rgb color space.
http://fsfe.org/about/albers/emailselfdefense/emailselfdefense2.front.de.png
right side: - i don't like the ellipse to highlight the headline - i don't have proof but the space around the second "-" feels wrong - remove the border of the blueish rects (those have different sizes, too (you may change the "scale the stroke when resizing" by clicking those buttons right to the input of changing the size, this is also possible for rounded edges)) - i think the rounded edges at the bottom are much too big - the left cloud in the graphic has a sharp egde at it's left side left side: - make sure that the outer edge of the brighter top is aligned with the left edge of the text below it. - same thing for the right side and the white box. align it to the right side of box above it - why is the text "Dieses und weitere ..." indented? - could the date be moved somewhere else to move the fsfe logo to the left to match the line of the text and the box above? (this is quit bumpy (de:"unruhig")) both: - the color of the "black" text on the front is not black (which could be fine, but then all other black text should match this color)
http://fsfe.org/about/albers/emailselfdefense/emailselfdefense2.inside.de.pn...
right side: - i don't think the border around the graphic is necessary - there are two clouds with sharp edges (left and right) - wooohaaa! the rounded edges of the first box ("GnuPG ist F...") are looking super bad. they should at least match the rounded edges of the box below - resize the box, so the left and right side of the box is matching the line of the white box below - the white box: the space between text and left edge != space between text and right edge - the first textbox and the second one do not share the same x-position - license: woooohaaaaaaaaaaa! please write 100 time: "i will not distort logos or text ever again" and change it asap! this is super bad! (you could remove the white box, and create a white background (similar the the blueish and red background to the right), broaden the text boxes a bit, and you could save one or two lines of space, this should be enough to regain proper aspect ratio) - of course "free software" is important for fsfe, but is it that important for "e-mail selbstverteidigung" to be the most prominent eye catcher of the whole flyer? (of course it is important, the text explains it why it's important. but i don't think it's important for someone who is completely new to GnuPG) left side: - why is the line below "öffentlicher sch.." thin, the line below "privater schlüssel" bold and expanded? - the box at the bottom has distorted round edges again. the size of the round edges of the white box right to it seem ok, but the smaller the round edges, the better they look! - the space left to the bright box at the bottom is too small both: - there is a white line at top of the png
please check all the text alignment things. while reading this mail to check things again, i've noticed that the text in the blue box at the bottom is not aligned to the two-column text above it. use guides!
greetings, 83a
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Hi Erik,
The things 83a mentioned are in fact super important. Please don't think of it as criticism. It's our job to notice these small things. And they are necessary so the user feels really happy when he or she reads the leaflet.
In addition I want to point out: The white line at the top of the inside file is actually transparent background. There is nothing there. And there should be something. Please extend the green background a little bit farther to the top. Also the boxes with the keys in it are partially transparent and the background might shine trough. Please also fix this.
I also found another typo and corrected it in the pad. So please update the text accordingly (only one capital I).
Thanks for your work,
Phil
Hi Philipp, hi designers,
On 28/07/14 15:59, Philipp Kammerer wrote:
The things 83a mentioned are in fact super important. Please don't think of it as criticism. It's our job to notice these small things. And they are necessary so the user feels really happy when he or she reads the leaflet.
don't mind, I take it as positive criticism, no thing.
However, I asked Franz to further design the leaflet and we already have a very good but also very different version of the flyer and Franz is heavily working on the next version. Once we are happy we will share it here on the list and you are invited to give feedback again : )
Best, Erik
Dear all,
thanks to Franz Gratzer, we now have a new vesion of the email-self-defense-gnupg-flyer in an awesome design. While before (my design) the leaflet would have been produced using 4 pages, the current design uses 8 pages and therefore can be unfolded and used as a poster. I like it very much.
Please find the new version here: http://download.fsfe.org/advocacy/leaflets/gpg-folder2-eal.png http://download.fsfe.org/advocacy/leaflets/gpg-folder-innen2.png
What you are invited to do: 1) finalize the text. I cleared the former pad with the current text version: https://public.pad.fsfe.org/p/emailselfdefense-flyertext
2) please share your thoughts about the design - before it will be printed.
We will order the flyer this Friday, else it will be too late.
Best, Erik
On Tue, Aug 05, 2014 at 04:04:27PM +0200, Erik Albers wrote:
Dear all,
thanks to Franz Gratzer, we now have a new vesion of the email-self-defense-gnupg-flyer in an awesome design. While before (my design) the leaflet would have been produced using 4 pages, the current design uses 8 pages and therefore can be unfolded and used as a poster. I like it very much.
Please find the new version here: http://download.fsfe.org/advocacy/leaflets/gpg-folder2-eal.png http://download.fsfe.org/advocacy/leaflets/gpg-folder-innen2.png
Awesome design. Thanks to Franz, Erik, and everyone who has contributed so far!
Best regards, Karsten
Dear All,
@Leena: I put you in CC for a question at the end of the mail.
On 05/08/14 16:04, Erik Albers wrote:
thanks to Franz Gratzer, we now have a new vesion of the email-self-defense-gnupg-flyer in an awesome design. While before (my design) the leaflet would have been produced using 4 pages, the current design uses 8 pages and therefore can be unfolded and used as a poster. I like it very much.
Please find the new version here: http://download.fsfe.org/advocacy/leaflets/gpg-folder2-eal.png
Attention, I just made a new inside with a changed text version: http://download.fsfe.org/advocacy/leaflets/gpg-folder2-eal-inside.png
the text is now in it's current version in the pad: https://public.pad.fsfe.org/p/emailselfdefense-flyertext
What you are invited to do:
- finalize the text.
- please share your thoughts about the design - before it will be printed.
and
3) help me with a legal question concerning Creative commons. That is why I put Leena from Commons Machinery in CC, this is you daily business, no?
the original flyer [1] is made by the FSF with the following attribution: Copyright 2014 Free Software Foundation Infographik und guide design by Journalism++
The german version we have been using as inspiration comes with the additional attribution: Übersetzung von Gabriel Pérez-Cerezo (gpcf.eu). Review durch FIfF e.V. (fiff.de) & Co.
now my thoughts: - As we changed the text a lot, I think there is no need anymore to attribute to the original translator? - I do not think in general, there is a need to attribute the reviewer - As we remixed the Infographic and design so much, I also do not see the need to attribute to Jounalism++ directly, but I'm fine with doing it.
So, here is my proposal for the new attribution: Diese Infografik ist ein Remix von Franz Gratzer und der FSFE Original von der FSF und Journalism++ unter emailselfdefense.fsf.org
Is that OK / Would that be right?
Best, Erik
please keep in mind:
We will order the flyer this Friday, else it will be too late.
[1] https://emailselfdefense.fsf.org/de/infographic.html
Hi Erik,
On Tue, Aug 05, 2014 at 05:42:03PM +0200, Erik Albers wrote:
- help me with a legal question concerning Creative commons. That is why I
put Leena from Commons Machinery in CC, this is you daily business, no?
I suggest you ask FSFE's legal team (legal@fsfeurope.org) for advice on this one.
Best regards, Karsten
Hi,
unfortunately the inside is not the most recent version and on the outside there seems to be a problem with the layer stack since the text is behind the illustration (the antennas and clouds overlap it).
The first headline on top and the first line of last headline on the bottom are to long. They are nearly touching the borders. This doesn't look good.
I don't know how you want to proceed, but these issues shouldn't be ignored in order to get a good result in print.
In my opinion we should consider cutting down the text on the inside and replacing some of it with some graphics. At the moment it looks like too much (boring) text and I fear most people will get frustrated by that and won't even start reading it...
Cheers Franz
On Tue, 2014-08-05 at 16:04 +0200, Erik Albers wrote:
Dear all,
thanks to Franz Gratzer, we now have a new vesion of the email-self-defense-gnupg-flyer in an awesome design. While before (my design) the leaflet would have been produced using 4 pages, the current design uses 8 pages and therefore can be unfolded and used as a poster. I like it very much.
Please find the new version here: http://download.fsfe.org/advocacy/leaflets/gpg-folder2-eal.png http://download.fsfe.org/advocacy/leaflets/gpg-folder-innen2.png
What you are invited to do:
finalize the text. I cleared the former pad with the current text version: https://public.pad.fsfe.org/p/emailselfdefense-flyertext
please share your thoughts about the design - before it will be printed.
We will order the flyer this Friday, else it will be too late.
Best, Erik
Translators mailing list Translators@fsfeurope.org https://mail.fsfeurope.org/mailman/listinfo/translators